Words I can’t say…

I want you to tell me something, anything to make me hate you

I want to tell you I hate you, but I can’t

Even though the words I want to hear are, that you love me forever

I want you to say that I never meant anything to you,

that it was all in my mind…that none of this was real

I want to break into a million pieces

I want every part of me to fall to the ground

To lie in stillness that my world is in.

I want you to tell me that you never cared

I want those words to drown me, to cover me completely,

push me into a world that is completely dark

Maybe then I can heal

Maybe then I can allow myself to let go

There is nothing to hang on to. This was all a lie

Let me break, Let me be on the brink of total destruction

because of you, her and me…I can’t do this anymore

Shock me away from you

Throw my heart from your hands

I need you to do this. I need to do this.

Because this half broken mess that I am is killing me

I am caught between two worlds and all I want is to be in yours

My world is not my own anymore

I can’t do this…it hurts too much

Knowing that we are now “friends” but spend every day/night together

I can’t do this…I’m confused

Knowing you are always going to play this game

Always there for me but never really mine and out of my reach

Knowing I need to leave you there

Knowing you left me here.

You let go of me

I need to let go, let go of you

Please…make me hate you.

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