What a wonderful thing modern technology is! Or is it? I actually don’t know how I feel about that statement… yet.
Either way, technology is here and it is not going anywhere. It is, however, getting more and more intertwined in our everyday lives. We use it for everything. Or we can use it for almost everything.
Recently, I have been on a sabbatical from dating . For both emotional and private reasons.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, I have decided to get back into the dating world. Completely unplanned, may I add! This didn’t just happen all at once for no apparent reason and then one day during the week or two or three there it was standing right in front of me and I feel I needed to take that first step and say Hello. Here’s my number , gimme a call and text for days. This is how the modern dater communicates…Now don’t get me wrong, the day of meeting at a coffee shop and talking face to face is long gone due to the hours we keep and jobs we have. but you can get the top level of a person with texts and phone calls but it only scratches the surface of a person.I need a face to face to see their reactions to a joke instead of emoji or “LOL”, watch how they treat the waiter/tress , the attention they pay to me and most important stay off their phone!
But, as the saying goes: You won’t remember the nights you slept for 8 hours, but the nights you stayed up making memories! I am sure I said that wrong, but this is my blog and I have creative freedom to do what I want. So deal with it.
Ok, back to the point: Did you know that there were an almost endless amount of ways in which to go about getting a date?
Here’s a list:
1. Chance meetings
2. Through friends (well meaning but no)
3. Blind dates (again through friends or family)
4. Co-workers (again not a good idea)
5. Standing at a bar (need I have to explain why?)
7. Internet dating
Well, those are mine at least. And this all happened within the space of several years or so. Like I said:With the years of relationships and break ups. When it rains, its like a freakin torrential downpour! I am exhausted! And I am a PRO at first dates. Like…if they were interviews, which I am pretty sure they actually are, I would get all the jobs applied for. With a bonus. And added leave. Possibly with Fridays off as well.
Practice people, it just takes practice…but I am so damn sick of it. Bet you didn’t see that one coming. Bet you thought this was going to be a witty rehash and recount of my dating or relationships adventures (Which are plenty! I mean…Chance meetings. Enough said. Really? Like…yes and no. Not again. Although, I did meet one nice guy, so I guess its not that bad.)
There comes a point in all of this, when you get home after yet another first date, and your heart sinks and you just don’t want to do this anymore.
I have had many first dates, even second and third ones…one even managed to last a few months and then that ship sailed to Antarctica or somewhere.
I know that what I am doing may be seen as a desperate attempt at meeting someone…but in all honesty, fuck you and what you think! I will never apologize for wanting to find a friend…that best friend that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Why should I? Why should I feel bad about that? Why should I be embarrassed by that?
What else am I supposed to do? Sit on my ass, at home and twiddling my thumbs and hope that someone will knock on my door and BAM! Man of my dreams. This is not a fairy tale…there is no cute Olaf the Snowman that likes warm hugs and summer. This is life. Real life. Really life.
Why is it acceptable to tell people to go out there and pursue everything under the sun that their hearts desire but as soon as it comes to relationships, we are supposed to be all coy and quiet and reserved. Oh and heaven forbid if we make it TOO obvious. Shock and horror then that is just way too overboard and you mustn’t let people know that you are looking for someone special.
WTF people? I thought we were over all of this! I thought we have evolved and grown up at least a little bit! And honestly if one more person tells me that as soon as you stop looking the right one comes I am going to stab them in the face. With a fork. Or keys. Or a squirrel. Whatever I can get my hands on.
Honestly, if someone is reading this right now and they personally know me and they decide that they will rather stay away, then you aren’t the right person for me anyways. Because the right person, is going to want you to show that you actually give a shit about them and are interested in them and have stopped playing stupid games. They are going to want clear communication and honesty and you. All of you.
Isn’t that what you want? Isn’t that what you deserve?
I don’t know…maybe I am a stupid hopeless romantic. Maybe I am delusional and naive… Although after all the crap that I have gone through with regards to men, I really don’t think I am. But I am not going to pretend anymore. I am not going to pretend to be anything or anyone other than who I am.
I am a single, 40 something year old woman. I have hopes and dreams and goals. I work hard for what I have and for what I want. And I want someone to share my life with me. I want someone to witness my life…be part of my life.
I refuse to apologize for that and I refuse to pretend otherwise.
You shouldn’t either.