Cynics are simply thwarted romantics.
“The power of positive thinking” is hardly a complex idea. Positive thinking helps us look on the bright side, which motivates us, gives us confidence in ourselves and lets us radiate happiness to others — all of which are great things.
Sometimes, however, optimism can be a bad thing, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Often, the romance spectrum consists of people who are either cynical about love or are emotionally available for everyone.
Rare are those who have found the perfect middle ground: who can walk away from a heart-wrenching breakup unscathed and OK, who can listen to their hearts and their head equally, who remain the ideal level of attached and unattached in messy situations.
We can’t help whether we are cynics or romantics when it comes to love; it’s just our natural disposition.
And the romance novel of the century, “He’s Just Not That Into You,” tells us that ~ spoiler for all rom~rags coming! ~it’s the hopeful romantic who win in the end. But reality, plagued with actual emotions and consequences, tells us it’s the opposite.
The cynic are more careful with whom they open up to, and the romantic opens up dangerously to everyone.
Cynics are wary of giving their hearts to just anyone. You have to earn the trust of a cynic. Until they give you an inclination that you’ve been let in, you have to continue to prove yourself worthy of their emotions.
Cynics put a lot of work into figuring this out, which ensures that only the best and most reliable people are trusted. Cynics only trust people of high quality.
Hopeful romantics are able to feel emotional towards anyone, at any time. Their feelings hit them without warning, sending them spiraling and approaching obsession in the mere days after an initial meeting.
The romantic are emotionally reckless, fully opening themselves up to anyone, even those who might hurt them. The romantic is frequently exhausted with his or her own emotions.
The cynic are always looking for ways to protect themselves from romance, and the romantic are always running around blind without any armor on.
In romantic pursuits, cynics know that it’s far easier to protect themselves than it is to be vulnerable, so they don’t place such a high value on romance at all.
If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. The cynic is fine either way.
Romantics are addicted to being vulnerable. Their constant spewing of their innermost self, deepest emotions and private thoughts allows them to run around without any level of protection from themselves.
This vulnerability makes them get attached easily and feel distraught if things don’t work out. The romantic is not fine with an ending he or she thinks is unfinished.
The cynics close off easily, and the hopefuls always try to give the benefit of the doubt.
If you’re romantically involved with a cynic and you mess up, prepare to feel the wrath of your decision for weeks, months or even years. Cynics are convinced that you’ll do it again, so they close off very easily to prevent any further hurt.
The cynic can easily run away in the face of complicated situations to successfully avoid pain. This ability is truly invaluable.
Hopeful romantics, however, will forgive you over and over again. Contrary to cynics, romantics are convinced that you’ll never do that terrible thing again, even if you’ve proven that you will.
Because the romantic aim to see the good in everyone, they continue to give chances to people who hurt them in the past. Romantics don’t know when to say no, which only further hurts them.
The cynic are better prepared for heartbreak, and the romantic are always shocked by it.
The cynic are always prepared for the worst. They enter into relationships cautiously, taking very careful steps to avoid pain and even anticipating there will be pain.
This allows the cynic to maintain a distance from their partners, which, in the event of a breakup or fight, means cynic will probably come out OK. After all, the pain would come eventually.
The romantic are never prepared for the worst. They enter into relationships with full force, spewing every detail about their personal lives and doing whatever they can to get close as quickly as possible.
From the get~go, this run toward intimacy only makes expectations in the relationship skyrocket, which, in the event of a breakup or fight, means the romantic will be shocked that something bad could happen. This unexpected pain deeply jolts them.
The cynic are aware of real problems in a relationship, and the romantic looks past all the faults.
The cynic are able to look past their emotions to recognize problems in a relationship, which means they can make rational decisions about how to handle issues that may arise before they get worse.
Because, well, if they do get worse, the cynic can run away to protect him/herself.
Romantics are so focused on the idea that everything will be OK that they tend to ignore important problems, which, obviously, will just catch up with them later.
The cynic gets hurt less frequently, and the romantic are always getting hurt.
Every time the cynic plays out romantic scenarios in their head, they see themselves ending with tears, pain and rejection. To avoid that inevitable, soul~crushing pain, cynics simply disengage emotionally. This causes less frequent pain.
Every time the hopeful play out romantic scenarios in their heads, they see themselves ending with wedding bells and last name changes.
To reach that beautiful, electrifying finale, the romantic hopeful constantly catapult themselves toward love. Pain is a defining factor of the romantic’s life.
The cynic at their worst are called “distant” and the romantic at their worst are called “crazy”.
So are you, the one who wears their “heart on their sleeve?” or are you the heart is “locked and the key thrown away?”.