The Power of No


I have this problem with saying no… I don’t know how to do it. I hate doing it when I have to and I feel incredibly guilty when I actually say it to someone.


See…I am one of those people who go above and beyond for the people around me. I will voluntarily go out of my way to make you happy or more comfortable and I will more than likely do things for the people around me even if it is a major pain in my ass and inconvenience.


I guess this stems from the fact that I feel that if I do all these things for people, that they will accept me and like me or some such ridiculous notion. What actually happens, however, is that people walk all over you and then misuse you.

Boy have I been misused… 

So now I am practicing saying no and not doing everything for everyone. It is so in my nature to care for others and to make their lives easier that I neglect my life. I can actually not remember the last time that someone went out of their way for me without me even asking. See, people don’t. They are so involved in their own lives that they don’t see yours. And it is not that people don’t care, its just that most people are very much just all about them. There are very few people who are like me and who are cursed with this stupid need to make everyone around them happy.



I think its time this ends. I have especially felt this over the past few weeks. And I don’t want to do this anymore. I just keep saying yes and putting myself in situations where I almost always experience a loss, be it financial, time or emotional or even a combination of all!

So…if you are reading this and you feel this may be directed at you: Take note! Whether or not you are the one taking advantage of others or the one who is constantly being taken advantage of.

Just say no…….


Shifting Focus

Have you ever noticed that when you have one specific thing constantly on your mind, that you will keep seeing it everywhere? Whether it be in real life, on the TV or in a magazine.

The thing that occupies the largest part of your thoughts also enters into what you seem hear and do.



For example: You think of buying a specific car and suddenly it seems like every Tom, Dick and Harry is driving around in it.

Associate a song with a person? Every radio station plays it endlessly on repeat.

Starting a new hobby like running? People stamped around you like wildebeest migrating in Africa.

Now I always thought that these “coincidences” were signs and that because I keep seeing the car the guy I like drives that it must mean that he and I are meant to be together.

But driving to work this morning after running a night race last night and seeing runners cause traffic jams rivaling any  highway disaster, it suddenly hit me.

These are not sign/omens/confirmations or anything like that. It is just me and what I am focused on.signs-and-omens


When you have something on your mind that, at that point, is of great importance to you or simply of intense interest, then you will subconsciously seek it.


Take me. I always say that I am the combination of two of the worst things: I am both stubborn and single-minded to the point of recklessness.

Once I get an idea in my head, or a goal I want to reach, then it is go time. I will do whatever it takes to get where I need (or want) to be.

I recently got to thinking about going back to school,  finishing my nursing degree. And it’s  all I see, hear and think of! Every person I see is a nurse, I have been in the hospital a few times the past few months and they ( nurse’s) have been a blessing to me and have giving me the nudge, I needed to go back to school. The last time I was admitted to the hospital, I was laying in bed  at night and  I couldn’t fall asleep- That’s when I got the push from one of my nurse’s and now its all I can think of! I am nurse mad! At least I’m not boy mad, I count this as a step up for me.

I can promise you now, I will be too focused for anything/anyone  until I graduate.

That is what hit me going to work today.

Its all about focus and what you focus on.


Its not the universe conspiring to re-affirm what you think or feel (although I sometimes still think it is), but it is just you..You and your focal point.

This got me thinking back a bit and I saw how my focus has shifted from one thing to the next throughout my life and every stage in my life. It also made me realize how I would totally forget about one thing, once my focus moved to another thing.


How often do we focus on the negative, the bad and on the things that keep us down?

And then we wonder why we find ourselves down and out and without hope.

Its because we allow ourselves to let that become our focus.


Try this today, shift your focus to something positive.

If you are feeling body conscious and that flabby ass is getting you down- stop thinking about it! Rather think about your beautifully toned arms, amazing smile and the fact that despite the rain you are having a really good hair day.

If you feel like you have lost faith and that God seems very far away, focus on Him. Let Him be part of everything you do. Take a minute to shoot a short prayer out, hum one of your favorite hymns, or simply say “God, I need you”.

If you do this often enough, soon you will see Him in everything you do. You will hear Him in every song, smell Him in the fresh summer rain and feel Him in your soul.



Shift your focus. It may just shift your life in the right direction or at least out of the rut that you find yourself in.