Shifting Focus

Have you ever noticed that when you have one specific thing constantly on your mind, that you will keep seeing it everywhere? Whether it be in real life, on the TV or in a magazine.

The thing that occupies the largest part of your thoughts also enters into what you seem hear and do.

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For example: You think of buying a specific car and suddenly it seems like every Tom, Dick and Harry is driving around in it.

Associate a song with a person? Every radio station plays it endlessly on repeat.

Starting a new hobby like running? People stamped around you like wildebeest migrating in Africa.

Now I always thought that these “coincidences” were signs and that because I keep seeing the car the guy I like drives that it must mean that he and I are meant to be together.

But driving to work this morning after running a night race last night and seeing runners cause traffic jams rivaling any  highway disaster, it suddenly hit me.

These are not sign/omens/confirmations or anything like that. It is just me and what I am focused on.signs-and-omens

 

When you have something on your mind that, at that point, is of great importance to you or simply of intense interest, then you will subconsciously seek it.

 

Take me. I always say that I am the combination of two of the worst things: I am both stubborn and single-minded to the point of recklessness.

Once I get an idea in my head, or a goal I want to reach, then it is go time. I will do whatever it takes to get where I need (or want) to be.

I recently got to thinking about going back to school,  finishing my nursing degree. And it’s  all I see, hear and think of! Every person I see is a nurse, I have been in the hospital a few times the past few months and they ( nurse’s) have been a blessing to me and have giving me the nudge, I needed to go back to school. The last time I was admitted to the hospital, I was laying in bed  at night and  I couldn’t fall asleep- That’s when I got the push from one of my nurse’s and now its all I can think of! I am nurse mad! At least I’m not boy mad, I count this as a step up for me.

I can promise you now, I will be too focused for anything/anyone  until I graduate.

That is what hit me going to work today.

Its all about focus and what you focus on.

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Its not the universe conspiring to re-affirm what you think or feel (although I sometimes still think it is), but it is just you..You and your focal point.

This got me thinking back a bit and I saw how my focus has shifted from one thing to the next throughout my life and every stage in my life. It also made me realize how I would totally forget about one thing, once my focus moved to another thing.

 

How often do we focus on the negative, the bad and on the things that keep us down?

And then we wonder why we find ourselves down and out and without hope.

Its because we allow ourselves to let that become our focus.

 

Try this today, shift your focus to something positive.

If you are feeling body conscious and that flabby ass is getting you down- stop thinking about it! Rather think about your beautifully toned arms, amazing smile and the fact that despite the rain you are having a really good hair day.

If you feel like you have lost faith and that God seems very far away, focus on Him. Let Him be part of everything you do. Take a minute to shoot a short prayer out, hum one of your favorite hymns, or simply say “God, I need you”.

If you do this often enough, soon you will see Him in everything you do. You will hear Him in every song, smell Him in the fresh summer rain and feel Him in your soul.

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Shift your focus. It may just shift your life in the right direction or at least out of the rut that you find yourself in.

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Fears…face them don’t fear them

I am afraid of a lot of things…today it was confirmed that I am afraid of heights as I had to climb over my apartment gate to get into my house. In a skirt. Then again, I realized I have an almost paralyzing fear for heights when I went on the High Roller and when I have to fly or riding down on a escalator and just…high things. I don’t like high things. They can be high, and away from me. I just must not be on top of them and asked to move or ride down from them.

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I guess this fear is also limited to types of heights. For example, I went zip-lining one weekend and I loved that!

Jump out of a plane? Hells no! I hate flying in the damn things so why would I voluntarily throw myself out of one? It makes no sense!

So that is my fear of heights…some of my other fears include, but are not limited to:

  • Beetles. The damn things fly for your FACE! I mean…WTF is up with that?
  • Spiders . The animal fearing theme is strong with me…
  • Flying. I heavily sedate myself when I have to fly.
  • Clowns and mimes. I put them in one category simply because I fear things all circus related and I truly hate the circus.
  • Crowds. I have a fear of big crowds of people. I get kind of claustrophobic…especially when I can’t see a way out. I always need to know where the exit is at all times

These are some of my less serious fears…Here come the serious fears

  • Failure. I have worked really hard to get the experience that I have regarding my work and I am so scared that I will fail at what I want to do.
  • Not being enough. I fear being inadequate. I fear being obsolete. I fear being forgotten
  • Relationships. Its not that I am scared of relationships, but rather that my fear of losing people will push the ones I love the most away. I kind of self destruct in almost any form of relationship that I find myself in. I don’t know why I do that…it’s really stupid and I am trying very hard to stop. So far so good!
  • Missing out. Not like the whole “Hipster FOMO” kind of way. But more that I miss the moments with the people I love. That I miss sharing in special moments and milestones. I mean…with my family that is so far away, I miss everything. I hear about it, but I physically miss the moments.
  • Not having a life…my own life, but yea…I don’t want to have my life pass by me and see that I haven’t done the things I wanted to do.
  • Not living due to fear. I am so scared to step outside my comfort zone that I am scared that I am not living. I have been doing more things that make me uncomfortable and pushing myself past my comfort zone. So I guess I am working on those fears.
  • Moving. Moving on. Moving house. Moving states. Just…moving
  • Going back into fear. I know that I have anxiety and depression , but I also know that I never, EVER want to go back to that dark place, again.

Today it kind of hit me that I have been feeding my fears and not fighting them. This I thought whilst I was scaling a wall to get into my place.

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I don’t want to live and work in fear. I don’t want to be afraid to be who I truly am. I don’t want to be afraid to speak my mind and be heard. I don’t want to be afraid to stand up for myself. I want to be fearless. I want to conquer my fears….NO…actually I want to kick them in the ass and watch them fly away.

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And I will. I am. I am becoming more fearless everyday…because you know what? I have gone through hell and back in my life and I am still standing here. In one piece. Semi-normal. 100% myself.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can just hide from your fears. Face them. Fight them. And then free yourself from them!

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