Poison of Disengagement

This is not about the typical relationships, but this could be for family (parents, children) Friends and even Co-Workers.. anyone who is in a day in/day out, the connection with another human being, That’s a partner.

When one partner in the relationship begins to disengage…. this is the warning sign of impending doom. Beyond the worst argument, the most hurtful betrayal, the cruelest words — disengagement is the death knell for any relationship.

THE-IMMEDIATE-AFTERMATH-OF-DISENGAGEMENT

Disengagement is simply the loss of willingness to invest time, energy, and emotion into the relationship. It is flat-lining, going belly up without caring enough to put up a fight, much less to put in the work needed to keep the relationship alive and thriving. Of not caring. Of letting the connection go. Of not being willing to devote time and effort to the relationship.

When the people we love or with whom we have a deep connection stop caring, stop paying attention, stop investing and fighting for the relationship, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in. Disengagement triggers shame and our greatest fears—the fears of being abandoned, unworthy, and unlovable. What can make this covert betrayal so much more dangerous than something like a lie, affair or just neglect is that we can’t point to the source of our pain—there’s no event, no obvious evidence of brokenness.

You are bound but unraveling at the same time. It only takes one person to disengage from the poison to spread and infect the relationship. Eventually, the person trying to engage and seeking engagement from the other will give up. Sometimes this is exactly what the disengager wants. They are passively trying to end the relationship. Other times they are blind to the havoc they are creating and only wake up when their loved gives them a wake-up call or walks away.

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Insidious Disconnect…..A Feeling or a Thought??

I dig deeper to reveal the casket of love
Stuck in the zone craving to be alone
The stemming crux of innate awareness
Your shadow lurks with a case of questions
The self in I prided and ever lost in within
Disconnected and absorbed in abstraction
Destruction of isolation, emotionally disengaged
Embedded in an inner world, the blurred adventure
A venture of wicked and buzzing illusions
Insidious poison that permeates high and below
Pushing the tide of disengagement to engage
As the water rocks the boat, I run far and faster
Trading my heart for my mind, the meteor drops
Yet my tarot don’t thrill for connection or recognition
Letting you lay on the bed of nails, itching for an insight
The objectivity of commitment scares, spared don’t stare
I can’t give it all, I can’t feel, I am a numb shell

quote-self-love-is-more-cunning-than-the-most-cunning-man-in-the-world-francois-de-la-rochefoucauld-371226

 

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Money money money….

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Everything is about money…I am not going to say “these days”, because in all honesty, for many people it has always been about money.

How much they have. How much they spend. How much they don’t have. How much they wish they had.

Money is everywhere. We go to work to earn money to survive. To pay all our bills. To make it through the month. The year…this life.

We buy buy buy and then wonder why we don’t have anything to save at the end of the month. Where does it all go?

There are many jokes about money at what people do with it…and I have recently come to the conclusion that I will never be money rich. And I don’t want to be money rich.

Wealth-is-the-product-of-mans-capacity-to-think.

I get a pittance of a salary. I live in a small apartment. I barely make it to the end of each month without stressing the last week that I need to pay rent, or buy food or pay for my medicine. I do not have money. And I don’t care.

Sure, I would love to be able to save up some money, I would love to be able to not stress about money and I would love to be able to say: I am finally earning what I am worth.

Life doesn’t work out that way…at least mine doesn’t seem to be working out that way! When I left university and started working, I had a much different idea of where I was going to be at this point in my life. Firstly I thought that I would be still married…but that does not seem to be the case! Then, I thought that I would at least be able to do more than just survive every month. Maybe even have a little nest egg… Think again!

But something did happen…I got over it! I got over trying to “impress” people with what I wear, where I live, that I don’t have a car and where I buy my food. I really do not care.

Not caring has resulted in me being a hell of a lot happier…and less stressed!

I work in an environment where it is all about looks and selling and branding and creating a false sense of who/what you are. It is the world of advertising after all.

But I refuse to let that get to me. In the same way that I refuse to let what others earn or do not earn get to me. I don’t care about how much money you make! If you are a good person, you are a good person. If you are an asshole, you are an asshole and no amount of money is going to cover that up!

I am no longer impressed with titles, cars, clothing, expensive gifts and so called “status”.

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Being a good, kind human being is all that matters to me. Being a happy person is all that matters to me. Being real is all that matters to me.

SO…in conclusion: I probably earn 1/3 of what you do…but I am happier now than what I have ever been! I have learned how to live within my means and that…is an achievement that I am proud of!

Stones pyramid on sand symbolizing zen, harmony, balance. Ocean