Looking for a bit of distraction
On this long winding road
Knowing I’m just a side show attraction
Waiting to be sold
Searching for the day
Of new release
Wondering if I should stay
And do as you please
And all in between
Not much change
Just another mindless scene
Waiting for you to see
To who do I direct my plea?
Waiting for you to know
This wasn’t all, just a show.
Missing you makes me realize just how much those heart felt, ultra-long and always so-special conversations mean to me.
I miss our funny, silly little stories that only we could understand.
I miss sitting on the sofa together and talking, just talking.
I miss when you hold my right hand and kiss it softly when you’re driving.
I miss laughing with you, when we’d discover things that we both thought were really funny.
I miss your texts “Smile because I love You”.
I miss your crazy ability getting every word in the JUMBLE right!.
I miss our coffee @ 1:20a.m.!
I miss your smile when you say Wrennie.
I miss our rides to the baseball field and looking up at the stars and you telling me that I own the moon.
And those three simple words that say so much, feel so much.
What else can I say?
I really do.
Well as of today, there is still no definite answer of who did this.. but as I’ve researched there can never be a “one”, a “who” , a “person”.
Now that being said, I had to give up the pain I was reliving by the constant remembering of those hurtful words spoken to me by you and her, finding out the suspicions I had are true and now the trust that was there blindly has been lost.
I spent over 12 hours doing research and speaking with professional on this, that there can NEVER be a WHO!
The age old who did what first.. in this situation that is not so simple.
It seems that as being most diligent about myself, there is no guarantee’s that there is ever 100% anything! being told that there is a “Grey Area” of about 6 to 8 months!!! I was like then why have all these so call safety nets for you and the person you are in a relationship with.. as told by a friend~when you leave, are you 100% sure he/she is alone??
When you look someone in their eyes and ask. Those questions, you believe that what was told you was the truth but as I found out that is not what happened and I was lied to on a few occasions.
The facts are, this has marked all of us and in some way we will always be, but my issues is this.
Why lie in the first place, placing blame on me without all the facts in and then you should have made an rational decision on what should be done first but you didn’t and the total disrespect for me and showing your true self as well as hers.
If you wanted a fling? something casual?? or were you thinking about playing the player role? then as a grown ass man, you should have said No to me, us!..
If you wanted Me then you should have said NO to her.. it’s that simple.
The other mark is possibly left on all of us, well one of us is for sure is marked by this….
To be hopelessly yours: this is my fate; and more than conform myself with it, I rejoice with it!
The possibility of not having you someday would frighten me, if not terrify me.
How could I live without your love and without the providential support of your shoulder, always a pillow for my head when I feel like the world is against me.
How could I be happy without the comfort of your words, always gentle and optimistic?
How could I feel like a woman without the sensual touch of your hands on my body, in the glorious moments when we make love?
You complete me as a human being, you complete me as a woman and (without wanting to feed your vanity!) you complete me as your lover, because under your body and the effect of your kisses no reasoning I cannot resist.
I’m hopelessly yours, I need you.
And I’m hopelessly yours that I take this as a confession of surrender, because I trust you so fully that I would never shy away from doing anything that would relieve your suffering or cause you any pleasure, whatever it was.
It’s great to have you in my heart and to be able to feel you close to me all day long.
I never get to miss you because I know you are always with me, even when we have many roads between us.
I never get to miss you because I have you in my thoughts all the time; you are constantly in my heart, feeding my soul with love and affection, and leaving me with this feeling of fulfillment and happiness.
I can’t thank faith enough for having found you. I only regret the lost time, I regret not having talked to you sooner… But here’s a little secret, which can also be a life motto: “happiness, even if late!”
Still, I will not complain about luck; on the contrary, I just thank the fact that I am with you now, enjoying your presence, your intimacy, the sweetness and delicacy of your gestures, your skin and all the pleasure it gives me when it touches mine.
You are everything I ever wanted in my life.
You are everything I love and wanted to love.
You give me this feeling of fulfillment like nothing else in the world can.
I love you means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I don’t wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. “I love you” means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.
What I like about us.. is that we connect at all the levels. As best friends, as people, as lovers and as boyfriend and girlfriend and as joey and wrennie.
I love sleeping with you. And I don’t just mean sex.
I mean sleep. Together. Under the blankets, with my hand on your chest. And your arms around me. With the AC on so it’s a bit chilly and we have to cuddle closer. No talking, just little kisses. And fall asleep, blissfully happy, in silence. Together. And I miss this so much when we are apart.