After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn…
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth…
And you learn and learn…
With every good-bye you learn
If we look hard enough, we can find some of the most valuable lessons from our misfortunes. Sometimes it takes a while for these to present themselves. If these don’t become clear, it is up to us to discover the meaning and create transformation from our struggles. We often need to dig deep to find the treasure.
In periods of struggle, it can feel like the whole world is against us. This is a natural and normal response. We mustn’t be hard on ourselves for feeling grief in our darker times. There is a sacredness and humility in tears that washes away our pain and cleanses us so that we can see the world with fresh eyes. Tears are a sign of power, not weakness. It takes a lot of strength and courage to be emotionally vulnerable and wear our heart on our sleeves. Only by listening to our hearts’ cries, can we respond to its calls and embark on the journey of positive change in our lives.
It is our most painful experiences that bring about the greatest change. When we hit rock bottom, and the only way is up, this creates the perfect conditions for reflection and growth. When we feel we can’t get any lower, we develop the trust, accountability and motivation to rise again like a phoenix from the ashes.
“It is better to be unhappy and know the worst, than to be happy in a fool’s paradise.”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Idiot