Saturday Thoughts

‘You must not lose faith in humanity.

Humanity is like an ocean;

If a few drops of the ocean are dirty

The ocean does not become dirty.’ Mahatma Gandhi 🙏♥️🦋📘

Such wise words, so relevant today.

Negativity be GONE!

There has been a lot of negativity going about lately…not just in my life, but in the lives of the people around me and in our country.

Negativity is a sneaky bastard…it creeps in and takes route in your soul turning everything into a black hole. It sucks the good out of everything and then it sinks you. Because before you know it, you have become this negative…thing and you don’t know how that happened and you don’t know how to get out of the habit of being negative.

It is a habit that you learn, and it is a difficult habit to break…believe me…it is a habit I am currently trying to break!

So, instead of writing a rant or writing something negative…I have decided to write down everything that is positive in my life and everything that has made me happy…

• My daughters. They are wonderful and they make me smile
• The sky today. It was bright blue and beautiful
• My family and friends…for obvious reasons. They have the ability to make any situation better
• Dark Chocolate
• My colouring book…it calms me
• Having a warm bed to sleep in
• Soup…when I don’t spill it all over myself and my couch. Yes, that happened
• JM…I miss him always
• Siri’s Australian voice note
• British Accents
• The Stevens Ranch Davidians “No Tomorrow”- my song of the moment!

• Those few work friends who make my day
• A warm bath
• Skulls…weird, but they make me happy
• Laying in the sun ☀️
• My books
• Lucifer …its sassy and sleek and sexy
• The pictures below:
• 

Relating with Love

LOVE AND LEARN

Love is always a constant emotion that is in constant motion, evolving consistently into higher forms. The moment a relationship fathoms this evolutionary principle, it becomes a relationship for life.

“Forever it was, and ever shall befall/That Love is he that all thing may bind,” wrote Geoffrey Chaucer with his marvellous medieval twang. You’d top your hat for that, albeit there’s nothing really esoteric to it.
Love is something that just happens to us all.

Remember your first crush: how you were swept off your feet and were in complete ecstasy? So much so that you never argue with the extraordinary formula. On the contrary, you’d always wish to add novel ways of thinking about love per se.

Love is more than an activity, the only light, as philosopher J. Krishnamurti called it. It’s also, in essence, emotion in motion. Which explains why there are multiple definitions of love, why they coexist in harmony, and why each person chooses the definition that suits him/her best at any given time. You would also notice how these denotations—including responses from your beloved—change with circumstances such as time.

Love encompasses an attachment where people are actively and continually creating their experiences. They are thinking of themselves and their partners as refreshing, interesting and lovable persons to be with. In the process, couples consciously decide to be the kind of people who often explore what they want and how they wish to connect. They affirm to communicate with each other about roles and rules. The bottom line is that couples must become increasingly willing to write, and even rewrite, their rules of relating on an ‘as-needed’ basis.

Just ask anyone to list qualities necessary for a great relationship and you will be flooded with a host of commonplace answers—vitality, frolic, spontaneity, more than just conjugal bliss, a meeting of the minds, mutual cheering club, soul mate, warm family life. The list is endless. You could add on a few more if you like.

But the point is that the reasons for a relationship change over time. Which also explains why our representative list encases most of the sought-after qualities and roles for our times. That’s not all. These are also qualities that successful couples tell others to embody.

Simple? Not really, because it needs a man and a woman to play the first partnership game—a pledge that allows us to explore and discover who among us is attuned to the psychical chemistry of the opposite gender. This is also a primary reason why a marriage of these differences creates a lasting alliance—notwithstanding a few ‘jerks’ that may take place during the course of any relationship.

Women and men bring their own special skills, desires, and differences to the partnership,

Perfection is a starting point, a state of being that exists already.

The best way to find someone you want to be with forever, you ask, is to become that person yourself. Put simply, this means you have to imbibe the qualities you seek in others. Then, and only then, will you be able to attract a like-minded person? The golden rule is to believe that no matter how good our lives are, they can always get much better than most of us ever dare to imagine.

Add to that the importance of treating each other like successful singles on a date for life, and you have a truly great relationship in front of you—one that has come to stay. Such a relationship not only complements the feeling that you and your partner are doing the best you can every minute but also works as a magical potion to develop security. It loves and receives love.

Great relationships don’t contradict individual rules. It does not matter whether we are really biologically different. Indeed, our identities as male and female are not just anatomical interpretations but also culturally distinct. So, there it is!

Any great relationship needs to be personalized with an element of natural design, and more than a prospect of an attached sense of detachment. To find that ‘space’—both within and without. To recognize how willing you are to start creating the relationship you want, how inclined you are to become the type of person who is deeply desired, what actions you can take now to start making yourself, and your partner, even more alluring.
Great relationships also evolve in our mind. Like strings, our inner mind seems to respond to strings that are similarly tuned, and one lyre resounds in answer to another, or a solid wall would echo to one who calls.

Love is something like the two sparrows flying outside your window, accelerating in an instant into an ascending, intertwined spiral of their ‘enchantment of opposites’ jig. It’s also a fine symmetry of the spirit.
One that denotes life as a relationship, the most vibrant, beautiful, and mystical framework of this universe—with love per se being its essential and most basic principle.

Truth be Told

Who am I?

How many of you have wondered that? How many times have you looked at yourself in the mirror, caught your reflection in a window or seen your face in a photograph and asked yourself, who the hell am I?

 

It’s so easy these days to be someone completely different to who we really are. It’s so easy to create the illusion of someone else. Someone who we think people want to know. Someone who we think we want to be.

But who are we? I asked myself this today and in all honesty…I didn’t like my answer. It’s not that I don’t like who I am, it’s that I don’t really know who I am and that bugs me. The thing is, in this era of instant access we all kind of forget the fundament part of being human: getting to know people. You can pretend to be a hell of a lot of things online. You can edit how you come across and what information you want to share with people to create a picture of you that is favourable. You can say things in such a way so as to make situations seem different and more exciting. Hell, you can even Photoshop your ass to make it look smaller!

By now you are probably wondering why this word vomit has come about and what exactly the point is…I can’t tell you yet. I have no idea! I am just so sick and tired of people thinking that they know me and that they know what’s going on in my life because they are my friend on Facebook or they follow me on twitter or sit outside my window in that “they want to wear my skin as a sweater” kinda of stalking me.

I want you all to know who I really am. Minus all the pretences and careful editing.

Firstly, you can tell that I like to write and overthink and over-analyze situations. From my friends that know me and who have sat up many a night talking things over- this much is clear.

Logistics: I’m a white female, with green eyes and ever-changing hair. I was born in England and moved to La Jolla, CA when I was 8.
I am the youngest of 10 children and therefore have the typical youngest child syndrome. And for those of you who don’t know if it’s the “rebel” gene. Not that I’m much of a rebel…well, when looking at my family I probably am. I like tattoos and bad boys and bikes and wearing black. I swear, yes I said it, I swear. And drink. I used to drink a hell of a lot more back in the day, but then I saw how toxic and unhealthy it was and how stupid I became and went to rehab. I still have my stupid days when one becomes too many, but I refuse to apologize for it and I refuse to make excuses about it. I also have an on-again/off-again relationship with cigarettes. Officially it has been 4 weeks since my last whole cigarette and I plan on keeping it like that. It’s a stupid habit and I hate that I picked it up again.

Some more things about me:

I hate spiders and crickets. They freak me out completely. I think that clowns and mimes are just not normal and should not be allowed to exist. I don’t like ribs/meat that’s on the bone or eating something that still looks like it looked when it was alive. I know I’m eating something that used to be alive and breathing and probably had a family…I just don’t want to think about that while I’m munching down on it.

I can’t stand Country and Rap Music. Then again, I don’t think anyone does.

I do giggle. I’m one of those giggly not so helpless, damsels in distress that needs to be saved by a man on a white horse swinging a sword about. On that note- I don’t know how to fix a flat tire, use any kind of power tools. I secretly make hearts with my hands, I so want to wear dirty sneakers and skinny jeans and actually look good doing so and I will never be able to pull off the whole bad-ass biker chick style. I’m not nearly badass enough for that. And in all honesty I’m too girly to even try, I love fashion, nails, make-up. To be able to pull off that look you have to be a rebel. I’m not. Never have been never will be but secretly wanting to be.

I am not too tall. And if one more person tells me that I just have big bones I am going to slap them. I don’t have a big bone structure! I have big hands and feet for my size. Yes, I will say it- Mans’ hands! Look, it’s not pretty. I like to be strong and fit and truth be told, I like that you can’t see every bone in my body. That’s freaky and unnatural and not womanly at all. I am a woman! Not a girl, I have an ass and thighs and hips and I would really like to say that I have boobs but that would be a lie…oh what a lie it would be.

Things I love: poetry, reading, tulips (preferably the dark purple ones or black ones), custard, warm summer nights looking at the stars, the ocean or any body of water, music, art and the smell of coffee.
Coffee always smells better than it tastes, is that just me?

I eat funny too apparently. I like to eat the topping off my pizza and then the pastry. Same with pies: the top comes off first, then you eat out the filling but I refuse to eat the bottom crust. I have a specific way that I like to drink my tea, I do like mixing the tea and milk together before you add the water.

I hate pips or seeds. It ruins the thing you’re eating if you bite into a bitter pip that you have to spit out. My favourite bird is the Carolina Wren. It’s a rockstar of a bird and I one day want it tattooed on me.

Talking of tattoos- I love them. I love looking at them, watching shows about them and getting them. I have one and I want more. One day I will have a full tattoo from my lower back to the nape of my neck and I don’t care if you don’t like it. I’m doing it for me.

At some point, I will also get a breast enlargement. I have been planning this for a while and I’m doing it for me, not what society will think or to regain my youth, I’m happy at my age and proud of my body but I believe in enhancements, we all use make-up, go to the gym, tan, so it’s for me and me alone and I really don’t what anyone thinks.

Music and books make up a big part of my life. I don’t like the quiet, I need noise and sounds around me.
I know a hell of a lot about football. Sunday football with my dad has taught me a lot.
People also seem to underestimate me or think that I am completely different from who I am.
I guess that’s why I have had so many bad relationships. I have had too many shitty one-sided relationships. The cheating or lack of boundaries with their ex’s, the mind games and being the closet girlfriend or the rescuer And frankly I’m sick of it.
What else can I tell you? Oh, I hate Sunday afternoons. Sunday afternoons I have always associated with spending time with that special person in your life. I think lately these Sundays have been getting to me because I don’t want to be alone anymore. Now, before you go on thinking that I’m desperate: I’m not. I just want someone to spend my Sunday afternoons with. Someone to cuddle with, other than my Chihuahua, Spike.
I love cuddling! And hugs. I love me a good hug.

I have let people use me in the past and let them get away with it. I have been in friendships with people that just take and take and take and then as soon as I need them they run away like cockroaches in a dirty kitchen. And I don’t think I will ever confront them because I hate confrontation. And I just want everyone to like me. I don’t like it when I know that someone isn’t happy with me or doesn’t like me. But I’m getting better at it. I am learning to not give a shit. And I am learning to not spend my time on people that waste mine.

I have a family and I don’t ever want them to worry about money. I want to be able to provide for them, give them a good education and never have them feel guilty about it. So yes, I do want money one day. Lots of it. Not for me, well, not ALL for me!

I am a child of God. I need to pull up my socks and start acting more like one. I am proud of my religion, it’s part of me.

I have said a lot now, but even though I have I don’t feel that it’s enough. It will never be enough because this is not me sitting in front of you telling you everything about me. This is me sitting in front of my computer hoping that you will read this and realize that you don’t ever really know someone if you don’t make the effort to get to know them. I want to ask, that you don’t believe everything you read and that you must never feel that you know someone because you read their latest status update.

Make an effort with the people in your life and get out of your comfort zone. Says me. I need to get out of my comfort zone and meet new people.
Hello World, here I come!

I think I’m going to spell check this and post it. Not many people will read it and that’s ok. I think it’s more for me. Now I know that part of me is out there, a true part of me. And if I can think of anything else that needs to be said, it will be said. You will never get to know the full person just by reading something they wrote. So next time you think you know me, don’t poke me or stalk my Facebook wall. Give me a call, ask me for coffee and then get to know me. I am more than words. I am more than photographs. I am more than what you can get at the click of a button.

I’ll make the effort if you do. And if you don’t like what you see, then don’t pretend that you do. Lying…now that’s another thing I can’t stand. Don’t lie, don’t play games and don’t pretend.

Just be you. because I will be me, I want to get to know you.

Things….

I feel things too deeply.

I either love with every cell in my body or hate as hard as the blood that pounds in my veins.
Sadness is injected into me like a pandemic virus and happiness has me overdosed on ecstasy.

 

Because I’m Happpppyyyyy

One thing that my mom kept telling me over and over again, is that all she just wanted me to be is happy. Happy.

And you know what? Today I woke up incredibly happy! I am happy with where my life is going, I am happy with how I look and feel and above all else, I am so incredibly happy with the people I have in my life!

My family, for one…my family makes me so happy and when they are happy it amplifies my happiness.

My friends…what can I say about my friends. They are just the most amazing soulmates out there!

Today when I walked into the office, I did not really feel like working. It was a late night, a rough week and I am tired. But then I heard the music. Streaming through the whole building! Music! That we can hear! I am telling you, there is something about music that just gets me in a good mood.

Or maybe it is that I have this FABULOUS new nails…its a contributing factor. So I decided to make a list of some of the things that are currently making me very happy.

• My nails
• My daughter’s happiness
• My friends. Specifically the ones I can send random voice notes to
• Music
• My body. I have dropped a substantial amount of weight and I feel lighter!
• My apartment. I went on a cleaning spree and got rid of so much crap that I feel…clean and renewed!
• My work.
• This really pretty dress that I bought…
• Sex and the City. The series. Not the act
• Lucifer…Love Mr.Morningstar

I am just…happy! Things are working well and coming together nicely and I can see a light. A positive light in my future.

I have also learnt that if I look for happiness in other people, then they will drown me with their negativity. So I have found happiness in myself. I have begun to love myself again with all my quirks and flaws and weirdnesses. I have no reason not to be happy. I have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, running water, food in my fridge (I think) and I can get me from A to B. Train and bus, Sans aircon, but hey…a little sauna never killed anyone!

We become so overwhelmed with the negativity surrounding us that we allow that negativity to flow into us and drown us. But I am not allowing this anymore. I want to live a happy and full life! Why should the negativity of my surroundings take that away from me?

So I will put on my smile, I will build walls to keep the negative out and allow the positive in.

This may seem naive or childish…but it is working for me so far and I am going to keep at it!

Find one thing today that makes you smile. Take that moment and cherish it. And then do it all over again tomorrow!!!

 

LOVE~FOREVER TEMPORARY??

“People are temporary- but I want to love you forever, and so I write love poems in places no one but the universe will eternally see, and hope they last long after we’re gone”
—poetic, forever a beautiful lie.

 

The Adult Conundrum

This morning while doing my normal morning ritual…I realised that I had run out of toilet paper. Again. I say again because this is not the first time this has happened to me and it probably won’t be the last time that it will happen to me. That is why I have a stash of serviettes in my bathroom…for such moments of brief panic. I mean, who wants to have a heart attack at 6 in the morning anyway?

The whole running out of toilet paper thing got me thinking…am I adult enough to deal with my life? I mean…I am 52 years old. OK, let’s call a spade a spade, I am closer to 53 than 52 so I may just as well say that I am 53. 53. My first couple of years in my 50’s. I don’t know if that is depressing or liberating.

There’s this thing that happens when you grow older or rather when you decide to grow up. Getting older is a given, growing up is not. You can be grown up at 17 and a complete child at 71. But the thing that happens is…everything changes!

Your body, your priorities, your sleeping pattern, your shopping list…hell…even your weekend plans! You have now gone from getting all dolled up for a night on the town on a Friday night to immediately taking off your bra and pants when you walk through your front door, pour yourself a glass of wine and press play on your current favourite series that you are binge-watching.

But let me not bore you with too many words, here is a list of things that I have found out have catapulted me into adulthood…whether I like it or not!

• I now have to pay rent. A lot of rent. For a very small place. BUT…it has a walk-in closet and a wonderful porch.
• Taxes. I don’t even have to say anything else on that.
• Car…your car is a whole other bag of things that you need to worry about AND I NEED ONE A.S.A.P! Remembering to put gas in (the right gas), checking your water and oil, tire pressure, license renewal (which happens every 4 years. EVERY 4 YEARS!) and then…the inevitable service. Money= GONE. Also, may I just say that I am still getting around by public transportation. That takes away some adult points, right???
• On the whole legal driving thing…I have had to renew my driver’s license… TWICE! ( moved Twice)
• Grocery shopping has gone from boxed microwaveable meals and cheap alcohol to things that are green and cleaning products and (when you remember), toilet paper.
• Wine has stopped being drunk by the box, but by the bottle. And not the cheapest bottle, the one you actually like to drink and are willing to pay a little extra for.
• On the topic of drinking…how the HELL did I manage to go out almost every night of the week when I was 21, get home and 4 am and still be a half functioning human being the next day?
• Food…every bit of food finds its way to every part of your body that you don’t want it to. Used to be able to eat fast-food or sugar/carbs every evening? Well, now you can’t! Now it is salads and cereal that makes you regular and vegetables. And…even though we don’t like to say this, we actually like eating like this.
• I have gone from drinking 2 Monster energy drinks, 7 cups of coffee and a bottle of wine a night to drinking 4 cups of coffee, 3 litres of water and maybe a glass of wine a night…when I can afford it.
• Budgeting. I have to budget! Well…I can budget once all my debit orders have gone off and I have paid rent and medicine and you know, the necessities.
• Things you start thinking about: Dating. Like…what? Men? When did that happen?
• We refer to anyone who is younger than us as, “They must be like 12, or something”.
• I don’t understand modern music. There is no music. Just people talking over a vague beat in the background…what is this shit?
• I find great joy in cleaning my house. In throwing out all the crap and having a nice, sparkling new apartment. AND I would rather do that over the weekend than party the whole time.
• Work…work is inevitable. I have found that I now actually have all the experience that was always on all the applications I saw for jobs…and frankly, that scares me a little. I have experience? Do you believe that I can actually do this? Honey, most of the time I am flying by the seat of my pants and winging it.
• Make-up has become a must! simply because when I don’t wear it I apparently look like I am dying.
• Clothing. I now wear clothes that I like and not what is “in”. I have made peace with the fact that I will never look good in a crop top and high-waisted short shorts that show my butt cheeks. Also, I judge women who do that.
• I rock short hair. Like an old person, I like my short hair because it is easy and cool and I don’t have to spend hours doing it in the morning.
• Dating. It is no longer a cluster-fuck of how many boys you can kiss. It now actually means something.
• Friendships. I have realised that I have a few close friends and that is all I need.
• Family. I used to get very irritated with my family and thought that they have no idea who I am and they didn’t understand me (although I think this is still true). But I love them. With all my heart and I want to be near them. They are important to me and I could not have asked for a better family.

Ok, so now that my adult list has been named, here are the things I do to attempt to retain some of my childhood, or rather, some of the things I do to not get bogged down with all this sudden responsibilities and stress and *gasp* wrinkles!

• I have taken to colouring in. I have an adult colouring-in book and I love it.
• I sing in the shower. In the kitchen. In my car. And basically, anywhere I want.
• I build puzzles. Not real ones though…the ones you find on the internet.
• I dance around my apartment in my underwear.
• I have friends who make me laugh and forget about how old we are getting.
• I build forts in my house. Pillow forts. Blanket forts. And then I sit in them and read a book, or simply just enjoy being in a fort that I made.
• I sometimes buy a whole box of Fruit Loops, eat them all in my bed while watching cartoons.

But the thing is, as much as we complain about being adults and how we can’t do this…we are doing this! We are being adults! And the great thing is, no one has done it before either! Not one of your friends has been an adult before, your parents have never been parents of adults before, and everyone around you has never done whatever it is they are doing before. Isn’t that awesome? We are all just doing the best we can with what we have and what we know. You can ask people for advice and guidance…but, in the end, it is up to you to make the decisions. And they are your decisions to make. You decide on your life. You decide if you want to grow up or not. Sometimes, that decision presents itself to you sooner than what you would like…I know mine did…but you know what? Then I ran with it! I taught myself how to adult in my own unique way. I don’t adult-like the person sitting next to me. I don’t adult-like the members of my family or like my friends. I adult in my own, sometimes crazy way! There is no other way to do it…I am doing adulting the way I feel is best for me.

 

And if that means that every now and again I find myself colouring in whilst eating Fruit Loops under a pillow fort…then so be it!

Kindly…F#ck Off

 

 

So it has been a hot minute since I have posted. I don’t really have any real excuse other than just the person I am trying to move beyond in me still has a hold on me…Old habits die hard I suppose.  Shit has gotten more intense on the home front.  The office abusiver  has gotten more vocal in her opinion of my faults.  Bordering on the mentally abusive end.  At one point I have quit my job.  Now I’m doing everything in my power to find another job ASAP! so I can keep living in my small studio and have for the last couple of months.  However, everything in this place is MINE.  Right down to the silverware.

My dog and I stayed with one of my friends for a Year, When I first moved back to Denver, I regained some of my strength and decided that I will be damned if I am driven out of my own home in which everything is mine.  All of the furniture, the dishes, the all of the bills and the lease is in my name…So fucking try me next time.

All and all this is just a reminder to keep my focus on my goals of my LIFE.  I can’t lose sight.  Everyone seems to be of the opinion that I should leave.  They are all “well if you can’t afford where you live by yourself you should move…” Or  “If you need help with your pet you should get rid of him…you know…get him good home.”  Ummm…Fuck you all.  You don’t know where I have been and you certainly don’t know my drive and my fucking goals.  How dare you judge what you only have the bare minimum information of my fucking life.

Let me tell you that I am well aware of what I need to do.  I reminded on a daily basis that my current situation isn’t ideal.  However, I will not let a situation that is temporary (i.e. my living situation) hold me back.  I have a plan of things that I am working for and moving to a better  “Studio apartment or One bedroom finding home for me and my pet…” is not an option.  When I do move it will be to a city that is closer to my goals.

…A quick rewind…I have recently talked with my bankruptcy lawyer and hope to have that finalized by the fall.  I would like to save money between then and now so that when I am ready to move and can do it on my own terms.

So I will hold my fucking ground, regardless of what people feel and think that I should do. Don’t get my cattiness wrong.  There are some that I greatly value their concern and opinions. Those people know who they are.  They know that I know this situation isn’t what I deserve or where I should be.  But they love me and they have my back.  Regardless of what I choose, I know they have my back and will support me no matter what.

So I will keep my head high and work towards moving…moving away towards my ultimate goal.  I will not move my home until it is closer to where I want to be open and start over my life.  So South…South is where me and my furry family will go.  New Orleans maybe the Outer Banks.  South…Ocean…Storms… Or East… Big City or small town with a cute almost Mayberry feel  or West….OR just stay here in Denver….Mountains….Snow…. a whole different energy is what I seek.  It is what I want find!

Gnd will support me no matter what.

 

If it makes you happy, then it can’t be all that bad

I have a dream!!

 

No, I don’t have a dream. I have many dreams actually. But that is not the point of this. I just had Martin Luther King going through my head when I started this.

So I made a list. As with most things in my life, I like making lists. I list things I want to do, things I have to buy, to-do lists, goal lists, pro and con lists…you name it I’ve probably put it in a list.

This is my list of things that make me happy just off the top of my head. We are surrounded by negativity and we sometimes forget to see the positives in life and specifically in our own lives. We are all too able to see the great things that happen with other people, but we forget that just by taking a bit of time, we can see the great things that happen in our lives daily. Even if we do them ourselves to make the day a little bit better.

 

–          Dancing like an idiot in my undies. And don’t deny it, you do it too!

–          The smell of coffee

–          My daughters

–          Singing along to Speak Mountain or screaming with Led Zepplin

–          Working out. Hard

–          Driving. Preferably fast, with my aviators on and my music blaring

–          Watching Lucifer

–          Laughing so hard it hurts and you feel you might pass out

–          Chocolate covered gummy bears

–          Writing

–          Sitting outside with a good book and coffee

–          Sushi

–          Wine. When shared with lovely people

–          Late-night inspirations

–          Skyping my family/friends overseas!

–          Daniel Craig…grrrrrrr

–          Seeing a Carolina Wren in a tree

–          Being witness to love. Whether it be two people holding hands, new love or the love between children and parents

–          Custard…and gelato

–          Summer afternoons at the pool

–          Campfire

–          Making people laugh. I do this without knowing it apparently

–          My family and friends

–          Randomness

–          Lol dogs. Yes, I said it, I like lol dogs.

–          Lucifer Morningstar and the awesomeness that is Lucifer

–          Reality TV “History Channel” (don’t judge me)

–          Bing

–          Getting to know new people

–          Singing into a hairbrush

 

There are many other things that make me happy, but for now, this is all you’re going to get!

What makes you happy?